Now, I feel confident all of you know what 'The Bro Code' is. And if you do not, and you consider yourself my friend, just go take a long walk off of a short pier. I see men, almost daily now, breaking the rules of Dudedom, and it is saddening. So i'm going to give you all 10 simple rules to live by as a man.
1. Always have at least one condom within arm's reach at every moment. This rule is not only to keep you safe and child-support free, its also to help out a fellow brochacho. Your boy may be sealing the deal in the next room, and need one. Do the bro a solid and help out.
2. Always observe the 'two-urinal' rule in ANY public bathroom with more than 3 urinal's. This is not a homophobic rule either. Just good manners. Always look forward. Avoid small talk. We are peeing. I dont feel like discussing current events.
3. Never get a tattoo of a chick's name, or allow a fellow bro-in-arms to do it. We have all seen this movie before. You get Cindy on your arm. 2 years later, your telling Spike at the local tat parlor "You think we can turn that into a pair of knockers with a Bud Light in the middle?"
4. If a bro's girlfriend inquires about his sexual history, you are to always lie your ass off. Do not make it worse by saying he is a virgin or he barely gets any either, that is a major offense. Make him sound good.
5. No true bro should ever hook up with a fellow bro's sister. This is just a brelony of the highest degree.
6. No bro shall ever apply sunscreen, icy-hot, or any other type of savv, cream, or lotion to another man UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
7. No bro will ever pursue a fellow man's mom. Step-mom is acceptable. Only on the basis that either she makes the advance first, or if she is wearing at least one piece of leopard print clothing.
8. Bro's shall always follow the 'Acceptable Chick Age' when dating. Take your age, divide by 2, and add 7. For instance, if your 20, do NOT go for anything under 17. And even then, it better be something fantasticccccccccccccc.
9. Bro's never send another man a greeting, sympathy, or birthday card. EVER.
10. The most important rule of all. A BRO ALWAYS HAS ANOTHER BRO'S BACK. PERIOD. You see your bro in need of a wingman, YOU ARE THERE. Needs you to scoop up a grenade, YOU FALL ON IT. In jail for a charge for which you were apart of, YOU BAIL THEM OUT. A bro always has a fellow bro's back.
There will be more to come. FEEL FREE TO LEAVE ANY BRO LAWS YOU FEEL I MISSED IN THE COMMENT SECTION. If they are deemed worthy, they will be added to the overall list.
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